just a little something from the beginning of my journey
I have not been posting anything here lately. I have been in a funk lately and have been thinking about why I love photography. So since nobody reads this anyways it doesnt matter. I owe it all to my dad. He was such a big part of my life. He had a passion for photography. He encouraged me to take pictures when I was 5 years old when he got my a kodak instamatic. I loved taking pictures even though when I look back at them now most people did not have heads. I think I loved it because my dad did and I wanted to be like him. I of course grew up and did my own thing for a long time. When I had my son I immediately felt the need to photograph every little thing in his life so I would remember it. I bought my first digital point and shoot camera and took some pretty terrible pictures. I could not figure out why I would see so many amazing pictures online and in books and I wondered why mine were not equally as great. When I would set up little "photo sessions" with my son with a sheet tacked to the wall as a backdrop and using my on camera flash my dad always told me they were fantasitic. I thought they were cute because they were my baby, but still I realized something was not right. I knew they did not look like so many beautiful baby portraits I had seen. I thought it must be my camera. So I sold my old car that I had been holding onto, but hadnt driven in years. My VW Cabriolet. I sold it cheep and bought my first DSLR, my Canon XT. I thought it was the best thing in the world. I of course thought that that camera would take great pictures no matter what. I set it on auto and snapped away soon realizing something was still wrong. I had a nice camera, so what was the hold up? I was still using auto and a crappy kit lens. I had no idea anything about the light. I thought an oncamera flash would be fine. The more I looked at the flaws in my terrible pictures the more I searched for the reason. I soon realized it was much more than a camera. It was all about the light. An oncamera flash give a snapshot apperance. It is harsh light. I do not have enough light in my house so I was on a mission to find the light.. and I did. I remember the week before my dad passed away. He was awing over my new dslr Canon XT. He had several Nikon film bodies and an arsonel of lenses. His love for cameras was still there, only his finances did not allow him the newest and latest digital gadgets. He had a Canon A70. A point and shoot, but it did have manual controls. He was looking over my camera trying to explain these weird terms like ISOs and f-stops. I had no idea what he was talking about. I blew it off thinking, gosh dad, these new cameras are smart enought to do the job without me learning it. I think about that every day and wish I had paid more attention to him. Even with the new cameras and all their brains, it is still better to use manual because I can "see" the light much better than a computer chip. I wish I had learned faster because I know he would have been so proud. I wish I had started business earlier because I know he would have been so proud. I was a waitress when he died and I know he always wanted more for me. I wish he could have seen that. I love what I do. I know I am by no means done learning. I learn something new every day. I hope it stays that way. Once you know everything it isnt fun anymore. :)
jen
